Titter not, ye peasants! April 2

It must have seemed much easier to hide the porn video rental if it didn’t require a trip to the adult video store and there were no DVD cases to hide. Conducted without leaving the armchair, it was the least effort option that foils many of our customers. Yet the hullaballoo that is engulfing the Home Secretary and causing more than a little embarrassment is more about the fact that she, or her husband, claimed the rental on expenses.
I am a bit of a realist here and, going on above mentioned antecedents, I reckon the least effort/risk option was employed by Ms Smith’s ‘right-hand man’ again in not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he had viewed such lewd material by excluding that portion from the expenses claim. And having seen some of Ms Smith’s utterances on the sex industry, I can understand why.
It is debatable who will be in the doghouse longer, the husband or the person who leaked the detail of the claim.
The knives will be out for the person who divulged it; if there are any moles continuing to leak such details to the opposition or media, not only have they missed their calling as a secret agent, but I would not like to have to face Ms Smith if she finds out it was them.
But, why is it that everyone is asking Ms Smith to resign? Her husband, called Richard but not Dick, is the one to have ordered the ‘television package’ and is paid from the public purse as Ms Smith’s assistant on a salary estimated to be around £40,000, yet I haven’t seen anyone calling for him to fall on his sword. The fact that she has stood for election means she is the one answerable I assume, although someone mentioned he had whenever she is away.
Some clever spark found that typical films for hire at the time included ‘Happy Husbands and Willing Wives’, apt I do not think.
If Frankie Howard were alive today, he would have had a field day with this; titter ye not, titter ye not.

Yours as ever,
Stitch