A Mexican dip

Half of the station’s just arrived back from their short stop-over in Northern Ireland – and judging by the sounds of things they should have followed the Prime Minister’s lead and taken their trunks.

Yes, it turns out that far from the Armageddon predicted by doomsayers and misery-guts, policing the G8 summit went swimmingly. That doesn’t mean we haven’t faced our share of criticism, but when people are moaning that we spent too much money not arresting people, instead of picking up the pieces after a riot or worse, then you can safely say that it was far from the worst case scenario.

It’s funny how sometimes when you plan for the worst things turn out quite well, while a supposedly relaxing week can quickly turn into the holiday from hell. I bet officers moaning about any cancelled leave were thanking their lucky stars they weren’t one of the British and Irish tourists arrested and nearly imprisoned for gambling without a licence after they were caught playing bingo with biscuits in a Portuguese hotel. I know they went out to G8 without their pay and conditions sorted, but at least their leisure time wasn’t likely to land them in court.

Custom is the mother of all, as a wise man once said, and it pays to learn a bit about the laws of the land before going abroad – what they do ‘over there’ might seem strange at first, but to borrow a favourite phrase from our many managers, there are plenty of lessons to be learned.

Perhaps, when the Home Office comes round to reviewing the disaster that was the PCC elections, they may take a leaf out of efforts in the Mexican city of Xalapa to improve voter confidence in the democratic system. Fed up of bickering politicians feathering their own nests, over 130,000 people have expressed support for Morris, a candidate who stands out from the crowd thanks to his fur coat and broad grin.

If you’re worrying over the sanity of someone wearing a fur coat in the heat of a Mexican stand-off, let me put your mind to rest: he’s a cat. And if you’re now worrying about the mental disposition of Mexican voters, perhaps their motto of “Tired of voting for rats? Vote for a cat” will strike a chord. Certainly I can think of a chief officer or two who’d sign up to that.

With more budget cuts looming, maybe I’ll pack my bags and join them in the sunshine. And unlike the G8 officers, I’ll definitely be packing my towel.